Thursday, March 26, 2009

Excuse please, but what the heck and hades is a multi-nodular Goiter?

Quite a mouthful there, isn't it? What is it? It means that you got nodes on your thyroid gland. Lovely. I don't like the thought of random nodes on or in or even near my body. Feels unsettling. But in my body they are.

I was first diagnosed with this in 1991. Plural biopsies and ultrasounds and more-than-plural vein pricks later, I still have the darn things. Recently, on a visit to the endocrinologist, the very grumpy Eastern European-born doctor, whom I'll call Dr. S, felt my neck. Within nanoseconds, here's what ensued:

Dr. S
Ju have a multi-nodular goiter with de larger node on de left side. I recommend ju hev jure thyroid remov-ed immediately.

Me
What the...you can tell this from just feeling my neck for two seconds?

Dr. S
Yes, that and jure markers...

Me
Markers?

Dr. S (sighing impatiently, writing quickly)
Jure cancere markers are elevated.

Me (sotto voce)
Eek!

Dr. S
Here's a referral to the best thyroid surgeon in town, Dr. R. He will remove it for you.

M
How kind of him.

Dr. S
Dis is serious.

M
Oh I know.

Yay! As little as I enjoy having nodes in my body, having my glands removed excites me even less. So I got two second opinions and both told me NOT to have my gland removed. So there, Eastern Europe.

But those pesky nodes still remain. I called the naturopath that I'm working with, Amy Tyler at People's Pharmacy in Austin. I call her so often, I wonder if she's ready to call me a stalker. Regardless, she still sees me. I cannot recommend her highly enough.

She ordered me a test to show my iodine uptake. This involved alot of urination. And urination collection. Again, lovely. What you do is collect the morning's first urine. Then you take a dose of approximately 50mg of Iodine. Then you collect your urine for the next 24 hours. How, how is this possible, you ask. Well, the company who offers the test even gives you a lovely orange bucket to collect it. And you get to store it in your refrigerator to keep it "fresh." This prompts your boyfriend to say:

Bryan (opening the refridgerator door)
Is this your pee here in our refrigerator?

Me
Why yes.

Bryan
Uh....

Much verbal scrambling occurs. He walks away grumbling and shaking his head. Who can blame him really.

When the 24 hours is up, you shake the bucket ferociously and pour it into another vial. Fedex very kindly comes and picks it up for you, after you put it in the near-hermitically sealed SPECIMEN bag. I recommend scrubbing the fridge as well.

If the test comes back and my thyroid isn't getting enough iodine, this could be an underlying cause for the goiter. Then I get to take a pharmaceutical dose of iodine. But it might just help and it's much better than yet another needle in my body.

I have a strong feeling that doctor's have known about this inexpensive test for sometime but instead of recommending it, they opted to prescribe endless rounds of blood tests, biopsies, possible surgery, oh and one time, radiation. Why? All I can think of it money--and that possibly the medical industrial complex (sounds very Vietnam) makes most of its money perpetuating disease, not promoting health. Just my opinion though.

Will keep you posted.

Happy Health,

Marie

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